Genii Weblog

Telling a story with screenshots - any feedback?

Wed 22 Jun 2005, 11:04 PM

by Ben Langhinrichs
I have been trying an experiment, and I wondered if anybody would care to take a look.  I got some feedback about the screenshots with CoexEdit that it was hard to tell what the point was.  I thought about this some, and realized that the better we do with CoexEdit, the harder it is going to be to look at the same rich text field in Notes and the web and get  it.  The whole point is that they look the same, but looking at two screen shots that look the same isn't very compelling, so I wrote a little story: Linda Discovers CoexEdit

So, does this story do a better job?  Is it too campy?  What do you think?

Copyright 2005 Genii Software Ltd.

What has been said:

329.1. Stan Rogers
(06/23/2005 08:35 AM)

Campy, yes, but not out of line with traditional ad campiness. The narrative could use a bit of editing to solidify case, tense & mode/voice, but it does give the screenshots the context they need. It'd be worth putting some time into the graphical design of this one, Ben -- it makes the case for CoexEdit in a way no simple feature list could.

329.2. Duffbert
(06/23/2005 04:16 PM)

I have to agree... It makes the point, causes you to smile and identify with Linda, and allows you to understand the software in a way that pages of text wouldn't.

329.3. Ben Langhinrichs
(06/23/2005 05:06 PM)

Stan - Thanks! I'll definitely go through the editing. Where would you suggest I go to get help with the graphical design? Also, the graphical design of what exactly, the page itself or what is shown in the screenshots?

Tom - Thanks! I'd hoped it would work that way. I just wonder if it will do the same for potential customers, or if just my friends think so. grin.

329.4. Joe Litton
(06/23/2005 05:29 PM)

Ben, I've read some of your other posts about Coex, and didn't have a REAL good feel for it until reading this 'campy' post. What can I say, I'm a little dull. I think one should never be afraid of explaining things in simple terms. Good job! If *I* understand it, anyone will!

329.5. Stan Rogers
(06/23/2005 06:48 PM)

A bit of both. The page could take on one of several overall tones, from "comic book" to "slick brochure", but the essence of all would be "panelizing" the narrative sections. The left-right alternating thing works, but I think it could look more deliberately planned or gridded. A subtle alternating table row background might work wonders. And I'd bring the type size down a touch. Right now, it's a "5"; I'd probably go for a "4" (big & friendly without quite being the large type edition) or even a bold "3". Using the graphics to force a consistent panel height throughout might be an idea, too. That being said, I'm useless at good-looking web pages in Rich Text. (Heck, I'm useless at good-looking Rich Text in Rich Text. I like to tell folks that I prefer web development for the display possibilities and the technical challenge, but the truth is that I'm a lot better at HTML and CSS than I am at WYSIWYG.)

I'd suggest modifying the business graphics as well, but there's a certain webbified-Notes naivetee to the page as it is. It may be a better fir for the target audience than a slicker-looking site. Anyone out there care to lend their opinion on this?

329.6. Stan Rogers
(06/23/2005 06:49 PM)

That's "better fit", not "better fir". I don't know why I brought trees into this.